Funny Jokes

[admin]

Folks, enjoy this jokes and have a good laugh:

Santa Singh invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was?. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Hair Dressing Saloon in Punjab!.
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Banta Singh who is a photographer was focusing on a dead body's face in a funeral function. Suddenly all relatives beat him. Why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
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Santa Singh gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Santa Singh says :"I've been promoted as branch manager."
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Banta Singh standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light.
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Santa Singh & FAMILY GO TO A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF I SARDAR, SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....
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Santa Singh who is a professor asked a plumber to come to his college. Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking.

[pharoahking]

One Man Was Standing At Bus Stop Alone.
One Gentle Man Passed Away From There &
He Asked : Do You Want Lift ?
Man Said : No, Thanks. My House Is On Ground Floor.
Ha......ha......ha

[pharoahking]

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Santa Singh:- Why did u come so far. Instead you could have mailed it.

Santa Singh & his wife buy coffee in a shop. Santa says... Drink quickly. Wife asks why...
Santa says hot coffee Rs5, and cold coffee Rs10

Banta Singh's wish: i want to die like my grandfather who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

Santa Singh was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why are you writing so slowly?
Santa Singh: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read fast.

Santa Singh was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said- I'm seeing how i look while sleeping.

[devang]

Hi Guys,
Check This Jokes & Enjoy.

(1)
Santa was removing a wheel from auto
Banta asks : Why u r removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa : Can't u read the notice, Parking for two wheelers only.
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(2)
Santa : Doctor ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor : Ye mera pehla operation hai,agar success hua to mere liye,
nahi to tumhare liye.
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(3)
Santa :Kal Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Banta : Koun si film thi ?
Santa : Apni shaadi ki movie thi !!!!!!
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(4)
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Galfriend : Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa : I'm falling in love.
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(5)
Banta : Yeh Chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa : Suicide karne ke liye.
Banta : To phir ubalne ki kya zaroorat hai?
Santa : Kahin infection na ho jaaye.
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(6)
Museum Administrator : That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
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Friends,
If U also have A Good Once U Can also Post.

[devang]

Just read & laugh more

(1)
Lady Doc : Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon
ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai : Auraton ko dekhne ka samay
9a.m.-11p.m.
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(2)
At the scene of an accident a man was crying : O God! I have lost my hand, oh! god
Santa : Control yourself. Don't cry.
See that man.
He has lost his head.
Is he crying?
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(3)
In an interview,
Interviewer : How does an electric motor run?
Santa : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts : Stop it.
Santa : Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
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(4)
Captain of Military : Naujawanon aage bado.
per Santa aage nahin bada.
Captain : Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa : Apne hi to kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein to 10ve number pe tha.
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(5)
Banta : U cheated me.
Shopkeeper : No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta : Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Enjoy & laugh more & more.

[devang]

(1)
Santa ne Apni Sagai Todd di. Kyuki vo Ladki Kunwari Thi.
To Ghar Ke Sare Logo Ne Puchha Ki Aisa Kyu Kiya.
To Santa Gusse me Bola Ki Jo Aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai !!!!!!

(2)
Santa : Doctor muje ek problem hai.
Doctor : Kya?
Santa : bat karte waqt aadmi nahi dikhai deta.
Doctor : Aisa kab hota hai?
Santa : phone karte waqt.

HA...............HA..................HA........... ..................

[mohini]

Hi Friends,
Read this Enjoyble jokes & Laugh More & more
(1)
Sadhu : Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta : Upaaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
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(2)
Napoleon : There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa : To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi na ...!
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(3)
Santa : Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
His wife : Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa : Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(4)
Banta : Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa : Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi
ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
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(5)
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa : Who r u?
Girl : Seeta here.
Santa : Maine to Chandigadh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya me lag gaya.
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(6)
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked : Exide laga du?
Santa : Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
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If u have nice one U can also post.

Keep Smile On Ur Face

[mohini]

Banta in a JAVA interview:D
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more

Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a __Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

[mohini]

(1)
Dost Suicide karne gaya.
Pahela : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki
saari nafrat de, Pareshani de, Duk de de!"
Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang
raha hai ki Reliance mai Job.
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(2)
What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
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(3)
Sardar to Shopkeeper : Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao,
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya.
Sardar : Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
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(4)
How can a Santa Kill a Lion ? Santa thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion & told I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.
O' bolo Superb Idea na.....................
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(5)
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate since 4 an hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
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(6)
Santa : jaanu Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? Santa's Wife : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye isse pahale ghar pahunch jaate
hai.
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(7)
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field."
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
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(8)
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
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(9)
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
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(10)
Man before Marriage I like Airtel....?
Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan?
After Marriage He's Like Hutch...
" Where ever U Go Our Network Follows."
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(11)
A Teacher lecturing on population That
In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
Santa stands up & Said We must find her & stop her!.
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(12)
Santa : why r all these people running?
Man : This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Santa : If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?
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(13)
Teacher : "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa : The future tense is "u will go to jail".'
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(14)
Santa told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant : it's already raining.
Santa : So what? Take an umbrella and go.
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(15)
Santa wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11crore after deducting tax.
Angry Santa : "Give me 20 crore or else
return my 20 Rs back.
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(16)
Santa was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked :" Why r u writing so slowly?
Santa : "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
************************************************** **********
(17)
A man asked santa, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Santa replied "Arey bhai Manmohan Singh is PM not AM".
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(18)
santa went to a shop & said - Black Colour ka bulb do.
Shopkeeper Asked kaha lagana Hai?
Santa : Dopahar ko andhera karke sone k liye.
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(19)
santa Prays daily For 2 Hours that " God Please Ek bar meri lottery lagade"
After 10 years God Angry appears & says " Murkh, Phele 1 bar ticket to le.
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(20)
Husband :Jab Main Mar Jau to Samne Wali Family Ko Jarur Bulana.
Wife : Kyu?
Husband : Yaar Unke Ghar Ki Ladies Murde Se Lipat-Lipat Kar Roti Hai.
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